Read more ... Of course, the big news is that Sanjaya was sent packing on Wednesday night’s American Idol. Sanjaya is not going to fade away too quickly, as he promises to expand his career beyond music Scandalous by nukunuku
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Hot Off the Web
Read more ... Of course, the big news is that Sanjaya was sent packing on Wednesday night’s American Idol. Sanjaya is not going to fade away too quickly, as he promises to expand his career beyond music Scandalous by nukunuku
One stripper tells it like it is Stripper rant
Read more ... 1) Hey you over there, holding that one dollar bill in your hand with a death grip and waving it around at me like it's the fucking deed to Trump Towers... what the fuck do you want me to do, grow another pussy?!? It's a fuckin' dollar, put it down on the tiprail and blow my world away already.
2) You losers that come into the club for a lapdance with NO underwear or boxers and thin-ass, nylon shorts, so we slip and slide on your hard-on (which always feel like a sharpie pen ~ fine point)...fuck you.
3) You with the thick-ass jeans, this was an impromptu visit, eh?
4) Don't pull my thong up during a dance and ask me if it felt good. IT DOES NOT FEEL GOOD.
5) Hey you, Loser, the one counting out the 20 bucks in one dollar increments, rubbing your fingers between each one to make sure you are giving me just that one dollar. Yes, you.
6) No I will not just let you "slip it in real quick" for $50 more bucks.
7) Yeah, my tits are real. As real as my affection for you.
8)If you cum in your pants, you have to tip me an extra $100 for being a lame-ass who can cum in their pants from a lapdance.
9) Stop asking me out. You're a smelly, fat loser and the only reason I'm smiling and cooing at you is because I want your money. Outside of the club I wouldn't even fart your way.
11) Stop bitching at me about the goddamn two drink minimum. First of all, your breath ranks (what'd you have for dinner, garlic and shit?), you're about 172 lbs. overweight, and you look like Jay Leno. More importantly: I don't give a shit.
12) Don't bitch at me about the $10 non-alchoholic beer either. Hide a bottle of Jack in your coat pocket next time like everyone else does.
13) My horniness is in direct proportion to your income.
14) No, you CAN'T SMOKE. Dumb. Ass.
15 )Boys, don't sit in the front row with your "homies" and act all engrossed in some deep conversation during a girls performance because you want to look like you're too "cool" to notice the hot, naked girl in front of you. It's a clear sign that you ain't getting any.
16) DON'T SIT IN THE FRONT ROW IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TIP. Fer chrissakes!!!!!!!!!!!
17) "So what do you guys do when you're on your period?" Answer: I lap dance with guys in dark pants.
18) STOP trying to grab my tits!!!!!!! That's extra.
19) SHOWER FIRST, you nasty fuck!
20) I had a feeling you weren't going to tip me, so I took extra care to rub my lip gloss on your collar and wear extra glitter lotion and obnoxious perfume before our dance.
21) Hey cheapasses: please don't come to my work. Just stay home and jack off to "Desperate Housewives" instead. It will save us a both a lot of unpleasantry.
22) Stop asking me why I do this job and try to get all psychologically analytical on me. For the money, you moron, that's why.
23) No seriously, my real name is Sparkle.
24) NO, I will not take a dime sac for payment. I can tell it's oregano anyway you stupid mutherfucker!
25) Sorry, I don't do that. Ask the ugly girl at the bar with the black roots and overbite.
26) I can see it's your first time at a strip club. Let me explain the dynamics to you. If you want a fuck or a blow-job, go to the ugly chicks. Hot girls don't have to do "extra services." I can give you some recommendations for a small fee.
27) It is not okay for you to bounce me on your cock like a baby on a knee. Not okay.
28) Stop complaining about how short the song was. It felt like the fucking maxi-single to me.
29)Yes I will fuck you, but only for 10 grand. More if you're ugly. So basically, more.
30) DO NOT come into the club looking for a girlfriend/date. It's like me going to PETA looking for a steak.
31) Girls--what's with the pole smell? Can we do a little hygiene check? Nothing than worse than twirling around the pole and getting a whiff of stale pussy.
32) Girls--stop lip-syncing to the song you're dancing to on stage. Especially if you don't know all the words.
33) Girls--if your toes curl and hang over your platform shoes a la' Fred Flinstone, you need to go up a size.
34) Girls--drowning yourself in Angel perfume is just as bad if not worse than the BO you're trying to cover. Take a goddamn shower, you smell like lapdance funk.
35) Hey DJ! You suck!
36)Girls--may I suggest complete sobriety before getting tatted up? Tattoos should be meaningful, or at least semi-meaningful, or at least semi semi-meaningful. That fucking dancing llama on your ass is so lame.
37)Girls--some songs just should not be stripped to. Please. No Disney soundtracks (you know who you are, you fucking weirdo), Sade, Boys II Men, or Bjork. For the love of God, Please.
Funny by mark
Katie Breaks Free
Read more ... Someone call in the Scientology security guards – there's been a prison break! Tom Cruise's zombie bride, Katie Holmes, has been making moves back toward her old life. Gossip by nukunuku
'Am I in a gay bar?'
Read more ... I'm walking upstairs and a guy i've never seen before pulls me aside with a panicked look on his face and goes: "AM I IN A GAY BAR??"
And i was like, "Um. No."
And he was like "Are you SURE?"
And I said "Well maybe it is normally, but not tonight" -- to which he says:
"Then why are you like the third woman i've seen?"
To which i replied, "Ohhhh, because it's a DIGG PARTY!"
Apparently, he'd be dragged there by his friends and had no idea.
[From an exchange at last night's Digg party, celebrating one million signups to the social news site. The participants: a stray guest freaked out by the overwhelmingly male crowd; and a Valleywag reader who was one of the few women present. Funny by mark
Aishwarya Rai Wedding Pictures Exclusive!
Read more ... First and exclusive pictures of Aishwarya Rai wedding to Abhishek Bachchan in Mumbai. Scoop by rahulmalh
Carmen Electra Unbelievably Fine
Read more ... Carmen Electra, actress, dancer, former lover and wife of Dennis Rodman, Dave Navarro and other fortunate men which we envy, justifiably. But, it is not our fault that this beauty likes to be photographed so much, and who would not with such a surreal body and her “equipment” that attracts weak male hearts throughout the world.
Carmen Electra recently publicised an interesting fact, remembering her debut for Playboy magazine in 1990: -When I received the magazine’s offer, I was not sure if I would take it or not, I was terribly shy. Still, I saw it as a good opportunity to set myself free of this trait that was holding me back. Of course, after I did it, nobody wanted me to stay dressed any more- Contactmusic reports.
There, as you can see, even the prettiest girls are self-conscious – which can equalise them with Carmen in the end, they only need an attitude like hers. Sometimes, it is all in the attitude which, unfortunately, can hardly be obtained over-night – still, who tries and works on themselves, results always follow in the end. Scoop by vadisaif
Glow Bra Helps Find The Goods
Read more ... The world’s first glow-in-the-dark bra has been designed Playtex Moonwalk to mark their 10th year collecting funds for breast cancer research. Outrageous by rahulmalh
Fashion Magazine - DIOR SPORT spring/summer 2007
Read more ... Hello operator, I try to reach flight commander... This high-tech sun protection for the eyes is looking like an intergalactic operator! The sun mask in XXL shape has the futuristic style of space-riders - perhaps in some years the lenses offer a computer-screen feature for space-communication! The lenses are made of flexible and resistant nylon combined with hypoallergenic metal. The innovative "invisible" temples made from two wires in a super-elastic alloy roll up and disappear inside a Dior signed resin button. 2 shapes are available in the colors ruthenium, palladium or golden frames teamed with metallic effect lenses: mirror black, shaded mirror brown, gold flash brown... Fashion by fashionmag
Fashion Magazine - Carmen Electra Nude, or well, its’ close enough
Read more ... Carmen Electra is still one of the hottest girls in the world. Either she was graced with the perfect genes that stop aging, or Pamela Anderson is just extremely unlucky, ugly. In these latest pictures, Carmen Electra is practically naked, but she is covering up the important parts of the nude pictures. How unfortunate. The expression, “If Only,” has never fit better. Celebrity Spotting by fashionmag
Angelina Jolie Reveals Wild Past
Read more ... Hollywood Star Angelina Jolie has revealed more about her wild past including how she lost her virginity. She also reveald that she was 'very sexual' in kindergarten.
She said she created games where she would corner the boys and strip off their clothes. She also admitted that she was a wild child and would often get into trouble for 'making out' with boys at a very young age.
Contactmusic.com quoted her as saying: 'I was a member of a group called the Kissy Girls. I was very sexual in kindergarten.
'I created a game where I would kiss the boys and give them cooties (children's fictional disease). Then we would make out and we would take our clothes off. I got into a lot of trouble.'
Revealing her sexual fetish, she said: 'I had started having sex with my boyfriend and the sex and the emotions didn't feel enough. I was no longer a little girl. In a moment of wanting to feel closer to my boyfriend I grabbed a knife and cut him. He cut me back.
'We had an exchange of something and we were covered in blood, my heart was racing. Then whenever I felt trapped, I'd cut myself. I have a lot of scars.
It was an age when I felt adventurous and after a few beers things happened.'
Her reputation for strange sexual habits came to light during her highly publicised marriage to actor-director Billy Bob Thornton. Though they divorced in 2003, the couple admitted to using knives during sex and reportedly had built a sex dungeon in their home. They were also seen in public wearing necklaces that bore vials of each other's blood.
All that ended with the adoption of her Cambodian son Maddox.
'It had something to do with becoming a mother,' she said. 'That was the biggest change in my life and made me feel complete. I learnt to accept responsibility for myself, my children and my partner.' Stunning by vadisaif
In Pictures: India's big wedding Aishwarya Rai
Read more ... Glimpses of the bride, Aishwarya Rai, in the run-up to Bollywood's biggest wedding in years, have been rare. Rai is a former Miss World whose fame has spread well beyond India. Stunning by mark
Gwen Stefani a Healthy Diva?
Read more ... Looks like Gwen Stefani is a healthy diva. TMZ obtained her list of demands for her tour's backstage dressing room which include: bright white lights, 30 bottles of water, a variety of organic items Outrageous by vera123
Janet Jackson's televised flashing of her breast to 100 million viewers
Read more ... Pop star Justin Timberlake on Wednesday distanced himself from Janet Jackson's televised flashing of her breast to 100 million viewers, saying he was "shocked," "appalled and "embarrassed" by the incident.
The 23-year-old all-American singer broke his public silence on the incident that took place during a half-time performance at Sunday's football Super Bowl that has caused outrage and sparked a federal investigation.
"When what happened, happened, I was completely shocked and appalled," he told CBS 2 television news in Los Angeles of the moment when he ripped Jackson's leather bustier and exposed her breast to the world.
"It was, 'Oh my God, oh my God'. I looked at her, they brought a towel up onto the stage and I immediately covered her up."
The young singer said that under a plan devised by Jackson and her choreographer earlier Sunday, he was to pull on the bustier and expose her red lace bra, not her breast.
He said the unprecedented furore over the incident that even sparked reactions from the White House had cast a pall over his image and strongly denied suggestions that he had agreed to expose her mammary as a stunt.
"I was completely embarrassed. I don't feel like I need publicity like that and I wouldn't want to be involved in a stunt, especially not a stunt of this magnitude," he said.
"I do understand how unfortunate this is and I think that it's the most frustrating thing for me," he said, adding that the over-exposure had even shocked his own family.
The incident prompted CBS television, which broadcast the incident live in the United States, to announce Tuesday that it was slapping a longer than usual delay on the telecast of next Sunday's Grammy Awards.
And the rival ABC network followed suit Wednesday, saying that for the first time ever, it would delay the US broadcast of the 76th Annual Academy Awards on February 29 by five seconds to avoid a repeat of the "Nipplegate" scandal." Sexy by celebrity
Heldi Klum and Karolina Kurkova World’s Sexiest Stars
Read more ... Last evening, Heidi Klum and Karolina Kurkova celebrated the announcement of the Victoria’s Secret rundown of sexy stars.
According to Monica Mitro, a spokeswoman for the intimate apparel company, it’s not just how a person looks thaThe complete list of sexy entertainers and athletes was announced Thursday. Pop sensation Justin Timberlake was named the sexiest male musician; Jessica Alba, who starred in Sin City, was dubbed the sexiest actress; and David Beckham, who has three sons with his wife, Victoria, was adorned the title of world’s sexiest dad.
That being said, Victoria’s Secret also announced the celebrity body parts that rank the sexiest in their book. Winners included the smile of Josh Duhamel, the lips of Jennifer Hudson, the legs of
Cameron diaz and the eyes of Adrian Grenier.Other sexy celebs included: Eric Dane (actor), Carrie Underwood (female musician), speed racer Danica Patrick (female athlete), Yankee Derek Jeter (male athlete), Kate Hudson (mom), and Jay-Z and Beyonce (couple). t creates sex appeal. “Sexy is about how you are as a person,” Mitro said. News by celebrity
Lauren Conrad, Jason Wahler Sex Tape A No-Go
Read more ... For all of you who were so excited about the possibility of a Lauren Conrad sex tape… disappointment seems inevitable. The latest reports indicate the homemade flick isn’t even going to hit porn store shelves.
Lauren, meanwhile, should be overjoyed seeing that she really didn’t seem like she wanted it to be released in the first place. Jason Wahler, however, didn’t mind, as long as he got a some cash to help out with his court fees.
According to a source that spoke to TMZ, the tape is “very vanilla” with “nothing hard core.” The tape basically consists of the two “messing around” and nothing else.
According to Hollyscoop, SugarDVD originally offered the duo $500,000, but are retracting their offer because of Jason Wahler’s recent behavior.
“We refuse to support any person who feels that it is in any way acceptable to rattle off racial slurs and slanderous language about African-American people, homosexual people and the police department.”
It’s probably better off this way. From the sounds of it, the video wouldn’t be worth eager onlookers’ money in the first place. Sexy by celebrity
South Korean Cho-Seung Hui Video To NBC
Read more ... Watch this crazy video of Cho Seung Hui..the Virginia Tech Gunman.. Scandalous by nadiakyra
Glow In The Dark Bra
Read more ... Woow..nice lingerie..love to have them..will someone buy them for me at playtex? Scandalous by nadiakyra
Simon Cowell On Sanjaya Being Voted Off
Read more ... Simon appeared on Oprah Thursday and said of Sanjaya being voted off: “I was on a very happy plane last night. I miss him probably in the same way I miss my favorite horror movie. And i don’t mean that nastily. I like horror movies. I hate it. I love it. A very sweet guy. Quite entertaining but a horrible singer. That was the problem.”
“If he made it to the top three, I’m gone,” he said. But “they wouldn’t let me.”
Simon went on to talk about his favorite three: "I have a soft spot for Melinda. Very sweet girl. I like her. Jordin was sensational this week. Chris I like because he’s contemporary. But I’m a little bit worried about singing through the nose… My top three or top two would be Melinda, Jordin and I’m not writing off LaKisha.” Funny by mark
Britney Spears Shaved Head Secret
Read more ... Britney Spears Shaved Head For Cancer Aunt.On what caused the split, she adds, "Let's say it must have been something pretty bad!" Britney Spears Shaved Head For Cancer Aunt.
BRITNEY SPEARS shaved her head as a tribute to her aunt who had died from cancer, according to a friend of the star.
The singer stunned the world when she cut off all her hair in full view of paparazzi camera crews at a Los Angeles salon in February (07).
She followed the stunt with a spell in rehab - but a pal claims Spears was suffering post-partum depression and grief and shaved off her hair as an act of "solidarity".
The friend tells PageSix.com, "Britney's aunt had just died of cancer. She was feeling very guilty because she hadn't been there with her, she was overwhelmingly depressed and she shaved her head in solidarity." Breaking News by vadisaif
You’ll never read this, little girl, but… How did you DO that?
Read more ... You’ll never read this, little girl, but…
I grew up an only child. I had friends, but sometimes they weren’t around. I had both parents and we went places and played often. But I enjoyed listening to my radio and coloring in my Spiderman coloring book in my room as much as I enjoyed playing with my friends or parents. I learned early on how to enjoy myself when I was alone. Not that way you sick monkey...well, at least, not yet.
It also meant that when someone left, it wasn’t a huge loss. A friend would move away, I would miss them, but it wasn’t devastating. An uncle would die, I would be sad, but it didn’t bring the world to a screeching halt.
As I grew into adulthood I began to treasure my time alone. Again, I had friends and we would go out and drink, hit on women way out of our league, and laugh about it later, but I enjoyed reading in my apartment listening to music alone as much as I enjoyed going out.
Girlfriends came and went until I met your mother. She had the most beautiful legs I’d ever seen. We met at work and dated secretly for six months before we didn’t feel like hiding it anymore.
We got married four years later. Then you came along a couple of years after that. There has never been anybody in my life that I couldn’t live without. I don’t think it’s a psychological issue (but crazy people really don’t know their crazy, do they?) Even if my beautiful wife left or died, I’d be despondent for some time, but life would go on. I never needed anyone before…until you.
You were so noisy and bothersome that for the first 6 months of your life I begged my wife to let me sell you on the black market. You were cute and had all your fingers and toes so you would have fetched a hefty sum; enough to put a nice down payment on a new house. But your mother just looked at me with daggers shooting from her eyes and I would slink out of the room. Damn her.
Then one day…it was close to my birthday, I was holding you and I made a funny face and you laughed. It was all downhill from there. I began to love you. And it only got worse as time went on. No one in my life has ever gotten in as far as you have.
My favorite time is bed time when we’ve finished reading “Where the Wild Things Are,” and “Guess How Much I Love You” and I turn out the light and get the covers snuggled up under your chin. I kiss you on the tip of your nose and tell you, “I love you, big girl.” And you say, “I love you too, daddy.”
I get choked up every time I hear that. I’m glad the lights are out.
How I wish to God I could keep you this age, but I know that you’ll eventually become a teenager, and may very well break my heart. That’s okay; it’s yours to break. Stunning by mark
WWE Divas Confirmed For Timbaland Video
Read more ... It has been confirmed that Playboy covergirl's Ashley Massaro and Torrie Wilson are among the 6 WWE Divas that will appear in Timbaland's music video. Sexy by gossuk
Eva Longoria Loves "Cute" Lily Allen
Read more ... Eva Longoria has revealed that she is a big fan of British singer Lily Allen Scandalous by gossuk
Angelina Jolie reveals Wild Past
Read more ... Hollywood star Angelina Jolie has revealed more about her wild past including how she lost her virginity. She also reveald that she was 'very sexual' in kindergarten.
Scandalous by celebgossips
You’ll never read this, little girl, but… How did you DO that?
Read more ... You’ll never read this, little girl, but…
I grew up an only child. I had friends, but sometimes they weren’t around. I had both parents and we went places and played often. But I enjoyed listening to my radio and coloring in my Spiderman coloring book in my room as much as I enjoyed playing with my friends or parents. I learned early on how to enjoy myself when I was alone. Not that way you sick monkey...well, at least, not yet.
It also meant that when someone left, it wasn’t a huge loss. A friend would move away, I would miss them, but it wasn’t devastating. An uncle would die, I would be sad, but it didn’t bring the world to a screeching halt.
As I grew into adulthood I began to treasure my time alone. Again, I had friends and we would go out and drink, hit on women way out of our league, and laugh about it later, but I enjoyed reading in my apartment listening to music alone as much as I enjoyed going out.
Girlfriends came and went until I met your mother. She had the most beautiful legs I’d ever seen. We met at work and dated secretly for six months before we didn’t feel like hiding it anymore.
We got married four years later. Then you came along a couple of years after that. There has never been anybody in my life that I couldn’t live without. I don’t think it’s a psychological issue (but crazy people really don’t know their crazy, do they?) Even if my beautiful wife left or died, I’d be despondent for some time, but life would go on. I never needed anyone before…until you.
You were so noisy and bothersome that for the first 6 months of your life I begged my wife to let me sell you on the black market. You were cute and had all your fingers and toes so you would have fetched a hefty sum; enough to put a nice down payment on a new house. But your mother just looked at me with daggers shooting from her eyes and I would slink out of the room. Damn her.
Then one day…it was close to my birthday, I was holding you and I made a funny face and you laughed. It was all downhill from there. I began to love you. And it only got worse as time went on. No one in my life has ever gotten in as far as you have.
My favorite time is bed time when we’ve finished reading “Where the Wild Things Are,” and “Guess How Much I Love You” and I turn out the light and get the covers snuggled up under your chin. I kiss you on the tip of your nose and tell you, “I love you, big girl.” And you say, “I love you too, daddy.”
I get choked up every time I hear that. I’m glad the lights are out.
How I wish to God I could keep you this age, but I know that you’ll eventually become a teenager, and may very well break my heart. That’s okay; it’s yours to break. Stunning by mark
WWE Divas Confirmed For Timbaland Video
Read more ... It has been confirmed that Playboy covergirl's Ashley Massaro and Torrie Wilson are among the 6 WWE Divas that will appear in Timbaland's music video. Sexy by gossuk
Eva Longoria Loves "Cute" Lily Allen
Read more ... Eva Longoria has revealed that she is a big fan of British singer Lily Allen Scandalous by gossuk
Angelina Jolie reveals Wild Past
Read more ... Hollywood star Angelina Jolie has revealed more about her wild past including how she lost her virginity. She also reveald that she was 'very sexual' in kindergarten.
Scandalous by celebgossips
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